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Truth Spinning

4/15/2014

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Just how far can we bend the truth before it breaks?  With elections underway, the air waves are filled with the messages of political “spin machines.”  We are constantly bombarded by advertising that blurs the concept of honesty, elaborating on positive elements while conveniently avoiding or down-playing the associated risks and concerns.  At the interpersonal level, truth is tempered by concerns about the feelings of others or what others might think of us.  And worst of all, we often don't want to hear the truth and may even hide necessary truths from ourselves to avoid the challenge of change.

For some, deceit is an easy way to avoid accountability or achieve an agenda.  But for most of us, honesty continues to hold its place as one of the most respected pinnacles of human virtue.  We recognize that truth is the virtual building block of trusting relationships.  We see a world that seems to cry out for less deceit and more trust.  Open, honest, direct communication is critical to our personal success and to the success of our organizations.

Honest expression of opinions will always enhance the quality of team decisions.  Only through a clear and accurate understanding of our customers’ level of satisfaction can we improve service, retain clients and attract new business.  We need truthful assessments of current performance in order to understand what changes are necessary for greater success.  Jack Welch, the former CEO for General Electric, once said in an interview that we “do not help people by letting them believe they are doing better than they are.”

Understanding the need for truth makes it no less elusive.  So why do we struggle?  Why do we bend, “sugar coat” or temper the truth?  Oddly enough, it gets back to trust.  The relationship between truth and trust is interesting.  We know that betrayal destroys trust.  But it is also a lack of trust that causes us to be less than honest.

Sometimes the truth hurts.  We don’t want to be blamed for the pain.  We don’t trust that others will take our comments in the spirit they are intended.  We’re not sure how people will react to what we say.  This lack of trust may be the result of past experiences.  However, it may be the result of our own anticipation of how we might react if the roles were reversed.

Perhaps it is time for a new commitment to honesty.  Perhaps we need to look at both the delivery and the receipt.  Perhaps we need to consider how we can build trusting relationships by offering critiques with respect and kindness while listening to them with understanding and a sincere desire to improve.     

How we deliver the truth is critical.  I like what Chuck Gallozzi said in his article There is no right way to do something wrong, "Did you ever notice that people who are brutally honest get more satisfaction from being brutal than from being honest? 

While we continue to express the importance of being honest with others, we cannot lose sight of the importance of being able to accept the truth.  Tom Landry once said that a coach is “someone who tells us what we don’t want to hear so we can be what we want to be.”  The truth gives us the opportunity to learn, to grow, to correct, to adjust and to adapt. 

In the final analysis, it comes down to us.  We must develop the discipline to be honest with ourselves.  "Illusions are an interesting aspect of life. Some are perpetrated upon us while others are created totally within us. Often, it's hard to tell the difference."

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Diversity & Tolerance

10/16/2013

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How many are the faces of diversity?

We have heard so much about this term, diversity.  In our society, our schools, our government and our workplace diversity is becoming an increasingly important area of study and concern.  Diversity training is mandatory in many sectors and the call for greater understanding seems to have reached nearly every business and organization.  For some the message has even grown stale.  "Do I have to attend another lecture on diversity?"

What comes to mind when you hear the word diversity?  Like many of the "buzzwords" we hear today it tends to be used in a very broad sense while meaning different things to different people.  For many, this term relates to issues of equal opportunity and laws protecting certain classes from unfair discrimination. Some people tend to focus on discrimination regarding race, or religion.  Others consider issues surrounding age or gender.  In my experience, there are additional protected classes commonly considered including ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, national origin, political affiliation and veteran status.

But the diversity training of today goes beyond the legal prohibition of discrimination for protected classes and digs deeper, unearthing the concept of tolerance.  Teaching tolerance is more progressive in that it goes beyond prohibitions of discrimination where the law can be applied.  Tolerance is more of a social and personal concern where the concept involves each individual's acceptance of someone who is different.

Of course, teaching tolerance is not limited to schools, consultants or trainers.  Each and every one of us can be a part of the program.  We can share the importance of acceptance with others and, most important, we can lead by example.  We can also remember that tolerance is not limited to the ten common stereotypes I acknowledged above.  To make a significant social impact the understanding of diversity must go farther.

The only thing we all have in common is that we are different.  We come in different sizes and shapes.  We come with different backgrounds, abilities and limitations.  We have different levels of education and different types of experience.  Any one of these differences offers an opportunity for judgment and intolerance.  Each identification of a difference also offers an opportunity for acceptance and inclusion.

When it comes to building successful teams, businesses and organizations, tolerance is not enough.  Great leaders have diversity awareness; they recognize that there is strength in diversity and actually seek it.  These leaders search for diversity, identify the potential value of the differences and capitalize on them.  They build teams with members that are not like each other and different from the leader. 

One key difference is particularly important to success yet rarely sought - a different point of view.  The best decisions and initiatives emerge where different perspectives converge.  It is sometimes difficult to accept disagreement and even harder to admit being wrong.  With diversity awareness, people can accept and respect different points of view, evaluate the strength of each, and emerge with improved clarity and understanding. 

Life is for learning and you have nothing to learn from those who agree with you.

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    Author

    C.W. Miller is a speaker, author, trainer and student of human motivation. He excels in helping others in leadership development, emotional intelligence and team building.

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