It seems that every time I interact with a business as a customer I get a gift. Either I get a good experience or I get a lesson in how not to act with or around my customers.

I needed a few things for a project I was working on today and went to a local store to get them. At checkout, the line was a bit long and it was obvious that the cashier was a bit overloaded. A male employee came up to that part of the store and asked her if she need help (keen sense of the obvious).

She said she did and I thought he was going to help out. Nope! While standing amongst the customers, he yelled out, “We need help up front.” Then he shook his head in disgust and walked off to do something else.

How would you guess this might have impacted me and the other customers in line? One might wonder about how the people in this store get along. One might wonder if he can expect to be treated the way the employees treat each other. One might wonder if the disgust was an indication that others are lazy, indifferent or negligent. And if that is the case, how might that impact my customer experience at other times.

Could he have handled that differently? What would you have done in his shoes?

The way people perceive us, is the way they perceive our business. That perception will always be based on our behavior – not just toward the customer but toward the world in general. Most important, whether you are the owner, a manager or an employee at any level, the perception customers have of the business impacts your potential for success.

How we act, how we react and the paths we follow are our own choice!

It has been said that we think with our heads but act with our hearts.  Our spirit controls our conduct, shapes our attitudes and provides the basis for how we perceive our world.  And our spirit is directed by core values.  It is not a question of whether or not we have core values.  We do!  We need to ask; "What are those core values and are we aware of how they impact us?" 

Organizations have a spirit as well. The spirit, and prevailing attitude, of the organization is reflected in its corporate culture.  While referred to as corporate culture, this driving force exists in groups and teams of all sizes.  Although they may not be openly expressed, core values are still in play.  Even cliques have core values.  If you doubt that, simply observe what happens to a member who fails to follow "the rules."

The culture of a team can be a positive force toward cooperation and success or contribute to conflict and hopelessness. Here’s the good news. We can determine what that culture will be and we can change it if we choose.  The best way to establish a positive culture is by establishing, articulating and reinforcing a positive set of shared core values.

When properly established, the shared values of the team become an integral part of each individual's personal values.  The leadership of an organization must take the time to discuss and determine what core values should be reflected in the organization’s culture. These values will focus on areas such as quality, ethics and character. It is important to describe the way employees should interact with each other and with customers.

The core values should be put in writing. Do not take the easy way out by picking a single general statement that, in its generality, fails to offer any real meaning. Keep the list fairly short, and each value simply stated. The core values need to be easy to remember. The list of core values should be distributed and discussed with every employee and all managers. This list should be brought out regularly at team meetings as a reminder of the organization’s highest aspirations.

As leaders, management should lead by example. The core values should be brought up and used as the basis for making decisions and resolving conflict. Leaders should discuss and communicate how their decisions and actions reflect, or fail to reflect, the core values. Core values should be the basis of discussion when addressing desired changes in behavior. 

Core values can be emphasized through reward systems. Managers and employees can be evaluated and rewarded according to the degree to which their actions and behavior reflect the organization’s core values. I am particularly fond of programs that provide a mechanism for employees to recommend peers and managers for awards based on actions that exemplify the company’s core values. Frequent team meetings where awards are presented for demonstration of core values are particularly effective for reinforcing a positive culture.

Every culture has its own expectations for behavior. Those who wish to be a part of that culture behave accordingly. The most successful teams are those that first focus on “the heart of the matter.”

From where will come the light when the candle burns out.

Almost every leader will deal with burnout in some way at some point in time.  It may affect you personally bringing a sense of mental or physical exhaustion.  You may even develop an attitude of indifference or a sense of failure.  In business burnout can translate to lack of motivation and reduced performance even bringing increased conflict and a high rate of turnover.

Most people associate burnout with too much work and too little time off.  Over-achievers and folks with an excessive desire to please or “look good” are prime candidates for the problems related to burnout.  Consequently, the most common advice includes taking a vacation, avoiding overtime or using delegation to lessen the workload.  In extreme circumstances professionals may even suggest quitting your job or changing your career.

In most cases reductions in stress can decrease the probability and severity of burnout.  Stress builds up when there is not enough balance in life.  Find time for relaxation and fun with family or friends.  Taking time to enhance your spiritual side will also prove to be a valuable stress buster.  Get away for some quiet reflection, meditation or prayer.

Current research indicates that workload, pace and balance are not the only contributors to stress and burnout.  Some workplaces seem to be alive with excitement and enthusiasm.  Performance is high, the pace is quick and often, the hours are long.  Yet employees in these businesses often seem immune to burnout.  What is their secret?  They have ignited passion and learned to overcome the more subtle causes of burnout.

Here are three less talked about factors and some things you can do to avoid them.  These factors are not limited to business but can arise in non-profit and volunteer organizations as well.

• Repetitive or tedious work with little meaning.  Be sure that everyone understands the connection between their work and the success of the business.  Assign several diverse tasks and allow time to move back and forth between them to break the monotony.  To ensure the sense of accomplishment, set specific short term goals for each type of task and celebrate the success of reaching those goals.   

• Lack of positive feedback and recognition.  Get out of your office, get around to the workers, catch them doing something right and thank them.  Acknowledge everyone’s efforts as often as possible.  Look for good things happening in your team or company and use this as a reason to bring everyone together, celebrate the success, and recognize each person that contributed to the success.

• Unrealistic demands or objectives.  Be sure that your expectations are realistic.  Watch out for “piling on.”  Often tasks are assigned without consideration for existing priorities.  The result is a pile of tasks that all need to be done right away.  Being overwhelmed, there is a fear of failure and a significant increase in stress.  Remember to establish realistic expectations for all tasks and with each new task.  If you are the recipient, ask how the new task fits into current priorities.

Follow these simple tips and the light in the window of your business will never burn out. 

Attitude is Everything!  I have used this old cliché for so many years, I can't even identify the original source.  Today, it has found its way to the titles of web sites and books.  Still, this simple statement carries a profound meaning and significant impact for our lives.

As we enter the holiday season, we experience a wide range of feelings.  There is significant diversity in the ways people perceive this time of year.  For some it is a time of giving while others focus on the "getting."  For some this is a time of joy and harmony while others experience a deep sense of foreboding and depression.

All of these experiences are real with a very real impact.  But the holidays are not the source of the feelings.  The holidays are just "the holidays."  It is our paradigms and our individual perceptions that define this time of the year for us.

This expresses the first of three ways our attitudes can change our world - personal impact.  When our attitudes turn negative, we tend to look for, and find, negative in everything we see.  The sun is too hot and the clouds are too dreary.  The moon is too bright and the darkness too scary.

These feelings inevitably lead to a decline in motivation and a decrease in performance.  With the decrease in performance comes a lack of results and low self esteem.  The poor results and lack of self esteem reinforce a negative paradigm and the cycle begins anew.

With a positive attitude the view is very different.  We look for, and find, beauty in our world and opportunity in our  experiences.  We are motivated to seek higher levels of performance and realize greater achievements.  We can see the value in any progress we make and celebrate it as success.  The success we see enhances our faith, improves our self esteem and reinforces the positive cycle. 

The second way attitudes impact our world is what I call interactional impact.  We are not alone in this world.  While there are a few exceptions, most of us interact with others on a frequent basis.  Whenever human interaction occurs, those involved have an impact on each other.

The nature of interactional impact is shaped by two factors - individual behavior and the resulting perception of that behavior.  If I perceive your behavior as positive it has a positive impact on me.  Both behavior and the perception of it are driven by attitude.

Of course, our attitude affects how we judge the behavior of others.  Some are even able to minimize the impact their own attitude has on their behavior toward others.  In either case, positive attitudes and positive behaviors create positive interactions.  Positive interactions stimulate increased motivation, improved performance and higher self esteem.    

The third way attitudes can impact our world is metaphysical impact.  As Wayne Dyer put it, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."  While they certainly change for you, based on your perception, many contend that things can be physically changed by attitude.

It is easy to see that that the outcome of interactions, and the results of our efforts can be changed by our attitude.  But this goes much further with a belief that attitude can actually stimulate physical change in our universe.  The best example lies in the importance of the positive attitude of faith when employing the power of prayer.      

Another example is in the concept of the Law of Attraction.  This concept is quite simple. We bring into our lives that which we think about.  If we think about positive things we desire, they come to us.  Conversely, if we focus on worry, on all the things that can go wrong, and all the ills of the world, we bring those into our lives as well.

It is easy to talk about attitude and to recognize the importance of attitude in our lives.  It is another thing entirely to control or change our attitudes in practice.  There are a number of things we can do to help create and sustain a positive outlook.

Practices such as meditation, prayer, and positive affirmations are a good place to start.  You can also establish a personal filter by controlling some of the things you are exposed to.  You can choose the people you associate with, the books you read, the programs you watch or attend and the websites you visit.  Every experience has an impact on you and on your attitude.     

Life is an on-going process.  We are always moving.  My practice and my advice is to focus on the journey - on improvement rather than perfection.  My goal is to be a little better tomorrow than I am today.  That can never happen with a negative attitude.  It takes desire, faith and work.

I have never believed that we can obtain everything we want simply by sitting back with a positive attitude.  To paraphrase what Thomas Edison once said, opportunity is often missed because it comes dressed in overalls disguised as hard work.

A positive attitude will make a difference.  You can improve yourself.  You can improve your workplace.  You can improve the world around you.  Share something positive, even if it's just a smile.

The sun is always rising somewhere!

That was too close for comfort!

How many times have your said that?  How many times have you heard it from others?

We often experience situations that blast through our comfort zones causing a sudden adrenaline rush with anxiety or fear. People, too, can get too close for comfort.  Each of us has a personal comfort zone that, when encroached upon, can cause a wide range of uncomfortable feelings.  We all have and need that invisible protective shell around us.  We all have and need boundaries.

Boundaries take two distinct forms - physical and emotional.  Physical boundaries have to do with the personal space around us.  Emotional boundaries have to do with the extent to which the actions of others have an emotional impact on us.  Our boundaries may change over time and will vary with respect to different people and different situations.  

Our personal space is a very important part of how we interact with others.  Personal interactions tend to be more positive, productive and successful when the parties are comfortable with the situation.  Discomfort can arise simply by an unintentional invasion of another's personal space.  In the early sixties, anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the word "proxemics" to describe the study of how personal space is used in interactions.

Throughout the animal kingdom we see examples of the selective use of personal space.  As an example of social interaction we may note that birds tend to line up uniformly on a wire.  Deer will tend to spread out over a territory and over population can lead to sickness and starvation.  The herd of zebra can be comfortable seeing a lion but will begin to flee if the lion gets too close. 

This distance may change in different situations.  I can get pretty close to a Canada goose in my back yard and yet it can be very difficult for a hunter to get that close in the wild.  While I would be very cautious of a bear in the wild, I am much more comfortable in the protective confines of a zoo.        

We tend to keep our distance from strangers but will allow those we know to get much closer.  Someone who grew up in the country like me can be very uncomfortable having a lot of people in close proximity.  Those who come from more crowded environments have a different perspective. 

Cultural differences can have an impact on individual comfort zones.  North Americans, Northern Europeans and Asians tend to prefer more distance and little if any touching.  South American, Arab and Mediterranean cultures tend to be more comfortable with closer proximity and may appreciate physical contact.

Even situational expectations can affect our perceived need for space.  I might be disturbed by a stranger suddenly walking up to me.  However, I can be comfortable when close to a number of strangers while in line for a movie or in the stands at a ball game.   

Emotional boundaries are best defined as the limits placed on how much impact the actions or opinions of others can have our own feelings and self esteem.  The limits are established by saying "no."  This may be "no" to abuse, "no" to unreasonable demands, or "no" to offensive, belittling or hurtful comments.  It can be an outward expression. "No, I won't do that." It can be an inward expression. "No, I don't believe that." 

It is important for us to set boundaries.  Without a firm grasp of our own boundaries, we are like a ship without a rudder pushed and pulled by every wave of opinion or manipulation that rolls along.  Generally, those we care the most about can most easily impact our emotions.  But we choose who to allow to impact us and to what extent.  The key is in our ability to make those conscious rather than unconscious choices.     

In both forms of boundaries, we need to recognize the common links.  First,  boundaries are established through and driven by trust.  Boundaries are dependent on the level of trust we have but significantly influenced by our desire to establish trust and be trusted.  Second, we can only overcome the problems associated with boundaries through an understanding of how our perceptions of boundaries differ.  Finally, understanding is best facilitated through open, honest and direct expression of the boundaries.

It is important to find a positive way to advise others of your personal boundaries and when you are uncomfortable.  I have always liked a simple three part statement.  When you..., I feel... So would you please...  Here's an example.  When you stand too close to me, I feel very threatened.  So would you please back up just a bit?  Here's another.  When you point out my mistakes in public, I feel embarrassed.  So would you please discuss them with me in private?

You can't assume that others will be comfortable telling you about their boundaries.  In the interest of positive human interactions you need to be aware of the impact you are having on others.  Avoid threatening , intimidating, abusive and manipulative actions or  statements.

Watch facial expressions and body language for telltale signals that you are too close for comfort.  Discomfort can be expressed through widening of the eyes, furrowing of the brow, tightening or biting of the lips, leaning away or stepping back, tense or tightening muscles and a rigid posture.  

We all want and need appropriate boundaries.  Acknowledging ours and being sensitive to others' are essential to good relationships and a productive workplace.