How we act, how we react and the paths we follow are our own choice!

It has been said that we think with our heads but act with our hearts.  Our spirit controls our conduct, shapes our attitudes and provides the basis for how we perceive our world.  And our spirit is directed by core values.  It is not a question of whether or not we have core values.  We do!  We need to ask; "What are those core values and are we aware of how they impact us?" 

Organizations have a spirit as well. The spirit, and prevailing attitude, of the organization is reflected in its corporate culture.  While referred to as corporate culture, this driving force exists in groups and teams of all sizes.  Although they may not be openly expressed, core values are still in play.  Even cliques have core values.  If you doubt that, simply observe what happens to a member who fails to follow "the rules."

The culture of a team can be a positive force toward cooperation and success or contribute to conflict and hopelessness. Here’s the good news. We can determine what that culture will be and we can change it if we choose.  The best way to establish a positive culture is by establishing, articulating and reinforcing a positive set of shared core values.

When properly established, the shared values of the team become an integral part of each individual's personal values.  The leadership of an organization must take the time to discuss and determine what core values should be reflected in the organization’s culture. These values will focus on areas such as quality, ethics and character. It is important to describe the way employees should interact with each other and with customers.

The core values should be put in writing. Do not take the easy way out by picking a single general statement that, in its generality, fails to offer any real meaning. Keep the list fairly short, and each value simply stated. The core values need to be easy to remember. The list of core values should be distributed and discussed with every employee and all managers. This list should be brought out regularly at team meetings as a reminder of the organization’s highest aspirations.

As leaders, management should lead by example. The core values should be brought up and used as the basis for making decisions and resolving conflict. Leaders should discuss and communicate how their decisions and actions reflect, or fail to reflect, the core values. Core values should be the basis of discussion when addressing desired changes in behavior. 

Core values can be emphasized through reward systems. Managers and employees can be evaluated and rewarded according to the degree to which their actions and behavior reflect the organization’s core values. I am particularly fond of programs that provide a mechanism for employees to recommend peers and managers for awards based on actions that exemplify the company’s core values. Frequent team meetings where awards are presented for demonstration of core values are particularly effective for reinforcing a positive culture.

Every culture has its own expectations for behavior. Those who wish to be a part of that culture behave accordingly. The most successful teams are those that first focus on “the heart of the matter.”

Just how far can we bend the truth before it breaks?  With elections underway, the air waves are filled with the messages of political “spin machines.”  We are constantly bombarded by advertising that blurs the concept of honesty, elaborating on positive elements while conveniently avoiding or down-playing the associated risks and concerns.  At the interpersonal level, truth is tempered by concerns about the feelings of others or what others might think of us.  And worst of all, we often don't want to hear the truth and may even hide necessary truths from ourselves to avoid the challenge of change.

For some, deceit is an easy way to avoid accountability or achieve an agenda.  But for most of us, honesty continues to hold its place as one of the most respected pinnacles of human virtue.  We recognize that truth is the virtual building block of trusting relationships.  We see a world that seems to cry out for less deceit and more trust.  Open, honest, direct communication is critical to our personal success and to the success of our organizations.

Honest expression of opinions will always enhance the quality of team decisions.  Only through a clear and accurate understanding of our customers’ level of satisfaction can we improve service, retain clients and attract new business.  We need truthful assessments of current performance in order to understand what changes are necessary for greater success.  Jack Welch, the former CEO for General Electric, once said in an interview that we “do not help people by letting them believe they are doing better than they are.”

Understanding the need for truth makes it no less elusive.  So why do we struggle?  Why do we bend, “sugar coat” or temper the truth?  Oddly enough, it gets back to trust.  The relationship between truth and trust is interesting.  We know that betrayal destroys trust.  But it is also a lack of trust that causes us to be less than honest.

Sometimes the truth hurts.  We don’t want to be blamed for the pain.  We don’t trust that others will take our comments in the spirit they are intended.  We’re not sure how people will react to what we say.  This lack of trust may be the result of past experiences.  However, it may be the result of our own anticipation of how we might react if the roles were reversed.

Perhaps it is time for a new commitment to honesty.  Perhaps we need to look at both the delivery and the receipt.  Perhaps we need to consider how we can build trusting relationships by offering critiques with respect and kindness while listening to them with understanding and a sincere desire to improve.     

How we deliver the truth is critical.  I like what Chuck Gallozzi said in his article There is no right way to do something wrong, "Did you ever notice that people who are brutally honest get more satisfaction from being brutal than from being honest? 

While we continue to express the importance of being honest with others, we cannot lose sight of the importance of being able to accept the truth.  Tom Landry once said that a coach is “someone who tells us what we don’t want to hear so we can be what we want to be.”  The truth gives us the opportunity to learn, to grow, to correct, to adjust and to adapt. 

In the final analysis, it comes down to us.  We must develop the discipline to be honest with ourselves.  "Illusions are an interesting aspect of life. Some are perpetrated upon us while others are created totally within us. Often, it's hard to tell the difference."

Business is conducted through human interaction.  Success, for any individual or group, depends on positive relationships.  Trust is the critical factor for building and sustaining positive relationships.  Unfortunately, trust is often elusive and frail.

Patrick Lencioni, in his book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, depicts team dysfunction as a pyramid with five layers.  The bottom layer is the base for all the rest - “absence of trust.”  The absence of trust not only causes challenges at work but often erodes our personal relationships as well.  

Individual performance improves in high trust environments.  People who feel trusted tend to have increased self confidence.  They are more willing to try new things, have higher levels of responsibility and tend to hold themselves more accountable for results. When employee trust is high, the workers feel more secure, are more loyal and stay with a company longer.

Managers cannot do the work themselves.  Their success depends on the ability to effectively delegate tasks.   A supervisor that does not trust the workers will have difficulty delegating.  When managers take on too many tasks themselves, or lean toward micromanagement, stress levels increase with resulting decreases in performance.  Low trust delegation often overworks the more trusted employees and limits the opportunity of other workers to establish trust.

Team success requires open, honest and direct communication.  In trusting environments, team members are more willing to share their weaknesses and mistakes.  This allows the team to work together toward improvement.  Team members who trust each other are more open to positive confrontation and more willing to engage in healthy conflict.  This level of communication promotes greater understanding and better decisions.

Many of us look at trust as something that must be earned.  This is a learned behavior.  New born babies seem to have an unusually high capacity for trust.  It is only after frequent breaches of trust, frequent perceived or real betrayals, that we arrive at the point where trust must be earned.  Paradoxically, it takes trust to build or "rebuild" trust.

The trust building process flows in a positive self perpetuating cycle.  As we take a risk to trust and others respond favorably, trust grows which then leads to more comfort in trusting.  The negative "betrayal" cycle is also self perpetuating.  When someone takes the risk to trust us and our actions cause them to feel betrayed they are less trusting and less likely to take the risk to trust us in the future. This gives us little opportunity to demonstrate that we can be trustworthy.

A perfect example can be seen in open, honest, direct communication.  When we trust others, we are more comfortable being open in our communication with them.  When trust is lacking, we may tend to withhold information or even be deceptive.  Our honesty is respected and builds trust.  However, If someone perceives that we are dishonest or secretive, they feel betrayed and trust us less. 

Here are a few tips that can help you build or "rebuild" trust.

1. Take risks - empower others and share openly with them.

2. Be open, honest and direct in you communication.

3. Accept honesty from others.

4. Respond to others openness with respect and concern.

5. Be accountable - do what you say.

Establishing and sustaining trust requires exploration and a concerted effort over time.  The value obtained from improved relationships and resulting levels of achievement are worth the effort.  Take the risk.