Over the past several weeks, we have seen a new awakening to the depth of sexual misconduct and harassment in the workplace. While much of the reporting focuses on lewd behavior, most of that is for dramatic impact.  The real problem is much deeper.

Men have been marginalizing, dominating and taking advantage of women for much of our human history. While some of this feeds a need for sexual gratification, more often it is about a need for power and control. 

It should be noted that such abuses are not limited to male abuses of females. Nor is it always sexual. Women are "kept in their place" and marginalized in many ways.  So are others who fall victim to the abuses of power and control so prevalent in our workplace and our society. 

The late Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has referred to this pervasive behavior as the culture of dominance.  I think we all can relate to the "pack" mentality that makes us acutely aware of the established pecking order and our place in it.  Many are busy climbing to a higher position, even if only in their own mind, and it is almost always at the expense of the status of another.

This is apparent in our relationships, our styles of communication and how we treat those around us. Interestingly, this culture has its own way self perpetuating. Not only do some choose to treat others as lesser than themselves, some also choose to be subservient.  

Unfortunately, the subservient role of women has been accepted and enabled for a very long time by both genders.  The #MeToo movement demonstrates an awakening to the need for change. But just as waking up in the morning is the beginning of a new day, this, too, is only the beginning of a needed evolution in human behavior. 

If we are going to make a difference in our workplaces and in our society, we need to consider a different approach.  Each of us has a role in perpetuating the problem or encouraging change. Bringing all this out in the light is a start. But if we do so with our typical blame, shame and guilt all the typical defenses of denial, excuses and blame shifting will impede progress and any meaningful change. 

We need to be able to talk about this issue openly with a greater interest in seeking solutions than assigning blame. This starts with each of us admitting we are humans who have made, and are making, choices that may not serve the greater good. How we look at those behaviors, what we learn from them, and what we do in the future to improve is much more important than anything done in the past.

I fully recognize, and readily admit, that I have objectified and marginalized women.  For that I am truly sorry and apologize.  I believe that I have grown to the point where I can recognize past mistakes and improve my behavior.  I also recognize that there is much I can still improve.

As I watched the drip, drip, drip of accusations and admissions, I longed for one person of prominence to step up and lead us to the future.  Most deny, deny in part, or admit, and withdraw to the shadows of guilt avoiding the public view.  So much more could be gained by simply admitting poor choices in the past, being open to discussing ways to improve, and leading the way to greater understanding and the search for real solutions that will benefit our society as a whole.

This awakening is wonderful to see but it is only the beginning.

Make a mistake. Please!

When was the last time your boss said that to you? When was the last time you said that to people who work for you?  In fact, when was the last time in any situation that anyone encouraged you to make a mistake?

In these days of quality wars, there is an ever increasing demand to reduce errors and improve quality.  But in work, and in life, the fear of failure can impede progress!

Oversights can lead to unhappy customers and bad reputations. Valuable time and material are often wasted in order to correct inaccuracies. The entire flow of business can be disrupted by a single lapse in judgment.  Let’s face it, mistakes can be costly. Why would any smart professional actually encourage mistakes?

Twenty-first century business is moving at an ever increasing pace. The winners of today are “old news” tomorrow. Today’s market place demands new improved products delivered in more efficient ways. The future belongs to the innovators and innovation requires risk. John F. Kennedy once said “There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.” 

The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to do nothing. Progress requires taking risks.  When you operate out on the edge, taking risks, there will always be a few mistakes. Mistakes are a crucial part of progress.  If your workplace over emphasizes avoidance of mistakes, workers operate out of fear and will never look for new ways to improve.

Mistakes are also critical to the process of learning. How often have you heard that you should learn from the mistakes of others and avoid your own? Actually, we rarely learn from the blunders of others. The real lessons, the ones we always remember, come through our own mishaps. You can never make enough mistakes to help others learn. They have to make some mistakes of their own.

Still, quality is important. So where is the balance? How can we encourage risk taking and, at the same time, minimize costly errors? The key is to learn from those mistakes and avoid repeats. To avoid repeated mistakes, we must bring those miscues to the surface where we can learn from them.

A business culture that penalizes errors also fosters cover-ups. If employees are constantly reprimanded for oversights they are more likely to hide rather than discuss their mistakes. The entire workforce benefits from a climate that encourages personal growth and welcomes mistakes as valuable tools for learning.

To error is human and to forgive divine. To use mistakes as tools for improvement is progress.