The Human Factor

A monthly E-zine dedicated to the success of organizations

by developing their most valuable asset - their people.

How many of you look forward to conflict?  How many of you got up this morning and said, “I sure hope I get a nice helping of conflict today?”  Most people do not look forward to conflict.  A friend of mine recently said, “I hate conflict. In fact, if I see conflict, I tend to run the other way.”  This is a common response and many ignore personal needs to avoid the potential battle.

It is no surprise that folks would avoid conflict.  Conflict often increases stress, slows progress, reduces productivity and destroys relationships.  But it doesn't have to be this way!  Conflict is not the cause of these negative outcomes.  Negative outcomes are the result of how we react to, and deal with, the inevitable conflict we face in daily life.

In our workplace, and in our personal lives, we repeatedly face some type of conflict.  It is a fact of life; people disagree.  Disagreement, the basis of conflict, is a valuable aspect of human interaction.  Noted author Hamilton Mabie once wrote -- “Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind.”  A fellow manager of mine liked to put it another way.  “It takes friction to sharpen a knife.” 

So why are folks so apprehensive about conflict?  Fear!  The fear comes from a perception that conflict is a battle.  This perception is usually based on previous experiences.  Often, our simple disagreements and associated conflict have escalated to the point that someone got hurt.  So, why does conflict so often escalate to battlefield proportions?

Managers are often asked to act as mediators and to help resolve conflict.  Most generally, they are actually being asked to determine who is right.  Everyone wants to be right and the competitive nature of our society creates a burning desire to win.  The need to be right and the desire to win are natural and are not necessarily problematic.  The problems in conflict stem from becoming entrenched in the belief that one can only be right if the other is wrong – that one can only win if the other loses.  It is this “win-lose” mentality that causes conflict to escalate and become a battle.

To benefit from conflict we must approach it, not as a battle, but as an opportunity find a “win-win” solution.  We must be more interested in the resolution than in winning.  To find solutions we must be willing to listen to all points of view and seek a solution together.    

By properly resolving conflicts we can add clarity to our vision, reduce stress, increase productivity, contribute to progress and strengthen relationships.  Proper resolution is dependent on the mind set we have when approaching conflict.  Be sure your head is in the right place and that “nice helping of conflict” can be quite tasty.

For more information on creating positive change contact us today!